


The Footsteps of a Child

by Quadrantje



Series: That Child of Yours [4]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Babyfic, F/M, JC Endgame, No Seven bashing, Post-Endgame, Pregnancy, starts out C7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25873810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quadrantje/pseuds/Quadrantje
Summary: After Voyager makes it home, Kathryn decides she finally wants to have their child. But what will Chakotay's role be with his daughter and what effect will it have on his relationships with Seven and Kathryn?
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Seven of Nine
Series: That Child of Yours [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533989
Comments: 72
Kudos: 90





	1. Wednesday 5th April 2378

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to carter-sg-1 for the wonderful beta!  
> All mistakes remain mine.

The farmhouse came into view slowly, a step at a time. Chakotay had waved off the operator’s offer to transport him to his destination directly; he rather walked. It was a beautiful sunny spring day and even after a few months back on Earth the novelty had yet to wear off. The sprawling fields on both sides of the road were freshly planted, the neat furrows of fertile soil reminding him of his youth. He wondered if the farmers who tilled these fields were as traditional as the Dorvan elders had been. It seemed an odd environment for his Captain to have grown up in, as it looked far too much like his childhood home.

As he came closer, the homestead he gathered to be the Janeway family home completed the picture. It dispelled the illusion of similarity with Dorvan, as the building style was quite different, yet still fit in well with the rural surroundings. As he approached the fence, Chakotay expected to find a reporter or two, at the very least, lurking about but none appeared.

The quintessential white picket fence that separated the Janeway estate from the road had the same old-fashioned feel as the rest of the place, but as he approached it he became aware of being scanned. After a few seconds, the fence gate chirped ‘Commander Chakotay, Starfleet, confirmed’ and swung open. Chakotay chuckled to himself. Leave it to the Janeways to retrofit an ordinary fence with an unobtrusive visual recognition system. The gate swung shut behind him and he thought he’d seen a glimmer in the air above it, as a force field was reactivated. He started to understand why there were no reporters in the vicinity. The place looked welcoming but was apparently well-shielded from curious eyes. He wouldn’t have been surprised if the force field also served to block all vid recordings or if the fence sent out a signal that interfered with news broadcasts. No doubt there was also a direct line to the local law enforcement in case someone tried to bypass the system.

Chakotay slowly ambled up to the front door. Truth be told, aside from enjoying the journey, taking the slow route here had also been a bit of a delaying tactic. As much as he wanted to see his friend again, he had no idea why she’d summoned him to Indiana. She hadn’t contacted him directly to set up a meeting, but left a voice message on his Starfleet comm line. There’d been something in her tone of voice, a hint of awkwardness that made him feel ill at ease. After seven years together, what would make her sound so hesitant when issuing a simple invitation?

Chakotay wondered as he stopped in front of the door whether he should ring the bell. Was there even such a thing? Surely the fence would have informed them of his arrival? The thought almost made him chuckle, until he saw that there was indeed a doorbell. As he didn’t see anyone through the decorative stained-glass window giving a slightly distorted view of the hallway, he rang it anyway. Almost immediately he heard movement from inside the house and it wasn’t long before he saw a Kathryn-sized shape moving towards the door. It opened to reveal not Kathryn, but a woman who was clearly related to her. She was the same height as his Captain, but her face was rounder and her features softer, less defined. Her hair was the same cut and colour as that of Admiral Janeway and her eyes were the same shade of blue.

The twinkle in her eye was all too familiar and he realised how much he’d missed that mischievous look in Kathryn’s eyes over the last few weeks. Not that he hadn’t seen her. They’d crossed paths regularly during the debriefings and he knew she’d argued tirelessly to vindicate all of her former Maquis crew members. A task at which she’d ultimately succeeded. Even the Equinox five had been released, though discharged from Starfleet, and Seven, Icheb and the Doctor had all been granted the status of full Federation citizens - free to go and do as they pleased. But he’d only seen Kathryn at Starfleet headquarters where she’d been the consummate Starfleet officer. Suddenly he couldn’t wait to see his friend.

‘Nice to meet you, Mrs. Janeway,’ he said, gracing the woman greeting him at the door with his best smile.

‘Now, now, I insist you call me Gretchen,’ Kathryn’s mother responded as she let him in. ‘Do you mind if I call you Chakotay?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Good. Now why don’t you come with me? Kathryn is just finishing up and will be with us in a moment. Would you like some tea? And I just made a batch of caramel brownies if you would like a piece?’

‘Please. Kathryn mentioned those brownies quite a few times, I’ve grown rather curious.’

Gretchen tutted a bit at his flattery, but smiled none the less. She led him into a comfortable living room and told him to make himself at home while she got the refreshments. He had almost sat down on a cosy armchair before he noticed the pictures hanging on the opposite wall. He couldn’t resist taking a closer look and found himself staring at an assortment of pictures of Kathryn, her mother, father, sister and what he assumed were other family members. His eye was quickly drawn to an image of a young Kathryn, probably about three or four years old, her arms around a large auburn dog, smiling that familiar lopsided grin. He only turned away when Gretchen returned with a tray. He made himself comfortable in a beige armchair that reminded him of their shelter on New Earth as she unloaded cups, two pots and milk and sugar. She poured him some hot water from one of the pots and handed him a box from the table. When he opened it he found himself looking at an assortment of smaller boxes, each clearly labelled.

‘Kathryn mentioned you like herbal tea. There should be a blend in there that speaks to you.’

When he opened the first box labelled _spring meadow_ to find loose tea and dried flowers he raised his brows in surprise. If each of the twelve boxes contained a different tea blend, this was a fresh tea collection unlike any he’d seen before. Definitely not what he’d been expecting in the Janeway household. He wanted to open and sniff each box, but glanced at Gretchen to see if she would mind. She was busy pouring a cup of what he assumed was coffee from the other pot and paid him no mind, so he indulged his curiosity. After inspecting the contents of each of the boxes, he settled on a blend called _Devil’s Delight_ , silently musing that the name matched his sense of humour.

Before he could add some of the tea mixture directly into his cup, as he’d been wont to do on Dorvan, Gretchen handed him something she called a _tea egg_. ‘That’s quite a collection you’ve got here,’ he said with clear admiration as he settled into the chair with his tea.

Gretchen smiled. ‘Kathryn gets her love of coffee from both me and her father, but I also enjoy a good cup of tea in the evening. I don’t care for that replicated stuff. A couple in town produces these blends themselves.’

Chakotay was about to remark on that when a door down the hall opened and closed with a bit of a creak. Moments later Kathryn entered the living room.

Gretchen poured her a cup of coffee without asking, but Chakotay couldn’t look away from her face. She looked worn out. He’d expected coming home and being on leave would give her a chance to rest, perhaps even put on some healthy weight with her mother’s home cooking, but the opposite seemed true. If anything the shadows beneath her eyes seemed to have become more pronounced. Where those tear tracks down her cheeks?

She hadn’t looked at him yet. Instead she sat down on the couch next to her mother with as much grace as Tom Paris after a double shift in Sickbay. Gretchen handed her the cup of coffee and she downed most of it in one gulp. At the taste of her favourite brew, her shoulders seemed to sag. She took another swallow, draining the cup and set it back on the table. Then she let out a loud sigh and collapsed against the back of the sofa as she ran a hand through her hair. Chakotay by now was very worried, but Gretchen merely poured her another cup of coffee, unloaded two large helpings of what Chakotay assumed was caramel brownie from her tray and patted Kathryn on the leg sympathetically. Then she put her own cup back on the tray, took the tray and left the room.

Chakotay was about to ask if Kathryn was all right when she sat back up and focussed on him. ‘I’m sorry, Chakotay. I meant to be here when you arrived, but my conversation with the Stadi family took longer than I expected. Please forgive my rudeness.’

Chakotay waved away her excuse, but his brow furrowed. The name Stadi was vaguely familiar but it took a moment for him to place it. When the pieces came together, he realized why she looked so tired. ‘Stadi had been Voyager’s original helm officer.’ His words were more of a realisation than a question, but Kathryn nodded in confirmation as she absentmindedly reached for her coffee.

‘I contacted her parents on Betazed,’ she elaborated. ‘I know Starfleet already informed them of her death when we first made contact, but I wanted to extend my personal condolences.’

‘As you’ve probably been doing for the family members of everyone under your command who didn’t make it back.’ Chakotay finished for her with a mix of both horror and admiration. Only Kathryn would take it upon herself to do that, Chakotay reflected. He didn’t know exactly how many people she’d lost upon their arrival in the Delta Quadrant, as they’d died before he’d joined the crew, but there must have been at least two dozen of them. In addition to the people they’d lost on the way… Just to track down all those family members would have been an undertaking. To then have what he could only assume were emotionally draining conversations with all of them… It boggled the mind. No wonder she looked like she hadn’t slept in a week!

‘The Stadi’s were the last,’ she confirmed. Chakotay opened his mouth to reply and gently scold her or to express his worry - he wasn’t sure himself, but she forestalled him. ‘But I asked you here to discuss something else.’

Chakotay sighed. He knew better than to continue a line of conversation Kathryn clearly didn’t want to pursue and he _was_ curious what she wanted to talk about. He was about to joke that _ask_ wasn’t quite the right word when he realised she was nervous. He wasn’t sure what tipped him off. Perhaps it was the way she wasn’t quite looking at him, but instead fiddling with her coffee cup or a hint of that same awkwardness he’d heard on the comm, but - something was off. Without his joke, the silence stretched on just a tad too long. Chakotay moved to the edge of his seat, but her mother’s seat still separated them. ‘Kathryn,’ he said, waiting for her to look up at him, ‘you can tell me anything.’

For a long moment she just looked at him and his heart sped up, but he kept his gaze steady, reassuring. He knew before she even opened her mouth that she’d gathered her resolve, he could see it in her eyes, the moment she had convinced herself to _just spit it out_. Still what she said next completely bowled him over.

‘I want to ask the Doctor to reimplant Wóape.’

Chakotay was vaguely aware that she kept on talking, but he was too surprised to take in a single word. After a few moments Kathryn recognized his absentminded expression and called his name. When he didn’t respond she moved over to the spot on the sofa vacated by her mother, placing herself directly next to Chakotay’s chair. ‘Chakotay?’ she called again, worried now, as she touched the hand still resting on his knee. His eyes shot to hers at the contact, before he drew his hand away to tug on his ear in a motion she recognized as discomfort.

‘I’m sorry, Kathryn,’ he said bashfully, ‘you caught me by surprise. I’m afraid I didn’t hear a word past _Wóape._ ’

Kathryn smiled reassuringly at him. ‘I said that I realise that this is terrible timing for you, with your relationship with Seven still so new.’ Her acknowledgement of his liaison with Seven was another surprise to Chakotay as he hadn’t realised she’d been aware of it until now, ‘and if you don’t want to play a role in _Wóape’s_ life I’d understand. That’s completely up to you. But I want to do this.’

Chakotay looked at her intently, unsure how to respond. To say her words had thrown him for a loop was an understatement. He had no idea how he felt about this sudden turn and knew he’d probably go on a vision quest when he got home. But there was something he needed to address first.

‘Are you sure about this, Kathryn? We just finished a seven-year mission, do you really want to dive into this right away? We’ve waited this long –’

‘Long enough. We’ve waited long enough.’ Kathryn interrupted. ‘Chakotay, I have to do this. For five years, I put the lives of our crew before her wellbeing and now that we’re home I can’t put it off any longer.’ He could see her emotions, churning just under the surface, but he wasn’t sure which emotions were driving her. Did she really want this or was this just something else she felt she should do? Another duty?

‘Kathryn, if this is about guilt… You – _we_ – made the right decision all those years ago. You’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.’ He tried to assure her, but Kathryn shook her head and when she spoke next the longing in her voice was plain to hear.

‘This isn’t about guilt. I never stopped thinking about her, Chakotay. Imagining what she’d look like, be like. What _I’_ d be like as a mother. I once told Q that I’d like to be a mother some day. Being out there for seven years only reinforced the importance of family to me, and made me realise that you shouldn’t put off your wishes for a future that might never come. This is my chance. I’ve got a couple of months of leave, more with maternity leave. If I don’t do this, I’ll regret it.’ The truth of her words was written on her face. Chakotay could feel how much she wanted this and that brought out something he’d buried deep, all those years ago. A longing of his own.

He resolutely pushed it aside. Now was not the time to dive into his own feelings, there would be time enough for that later. Right now her needs would come first one more time.

‘I don’t know about my own role in this, Kathryn, but I won’t stand in your way if this is what you want,’ he told her. ‘If you need my consent or support, you’ve got it. Just give me some time to figure out what I want in all this, okay?’

At his words, Kathryn smiled. That brilliant smile he’d only seen a handful of times. The smile that reminded him of the woman he’d pledged to follow seven years ago. The smile that never failed to trigger his own.

‘Thank you, Chakotay.’ Kathryn said as she gripped his hand tight. ‘I’ll have our family solicitor send over the paperwork for the implantation and contact the Doctor. Take all the time you need. I know you’ll make a wonderful father if you so choose, but if that’s not what you want we’ll be fine too.’

 _We_. Was that the two of them or Kathryn and their child she was referring to, Chakotay wondered. The thought of Kathryn and their daughter pulled at his heart and he was tempted to commit himself to fatherhood right there, but his thoughts were too much of a jumble and he knew that he was in no state to make such a decision. So he opted to change the subject.

‘What about Starfleet. What will you do once Wóape is born?’

Kathryn’s quick response showed him that she’d put quite a bit of thought in this already. ‘It’ll be a while yet before I have to make any decisions, but if you don’t want to be involved I might Captain another starship. I didn’t think it was possible to combine motherhood and a captaincy in the Delta Quadrant, but back home some leeway can be given. Maybe on one of those generational ships… If you do want to be involved, I’ll look for something closer to home. There’s been rumours that they’ll offer me a promotion to Admiral, but I’m not sure I want that. I adored my father, but he missed a lot of important milestones because of his duty. That’s not the kind of parent I want to be.’

‘Whatever you do, Kathryn, you’ll make a wonderful mother,’ Chakotay said with unmistakable sincerity. After watching her captain a ship for the past seven years with warmth, intelligence and a fierce determination, he knew that Kathryn would do anything for the people in her care. And for a child of her own… Chakotay wasn’t sure if it was pride or longing that brought tears to his eyes. Whatever it was, he knew it was about to overwhelm him. So, while it took a great deal of strength, he did what he had done with Kathryn so often in the past and lightened the mood. ‘Just as long as you don’t get Wóape addicted to coffee before her tenth birthday.’

Kathryn gave him a mock skunk eye before breaking into a smile. ‘I’m not making any promises!’ she laughed. Chakotay, who only now realised how far he’d moved to the edge of his seat, where their knees practically touched, sat back in his chair, slumping a bit, and pretended to pout. Kathryn’s eyes twinkled at his antics and she held up her hand in mock defence. ‘Fine, not before her tenth birthday. But the day after her birthday…’ She made an expressive gesture with her hands, as if wiping away all objections.

It felt good to joke with her like this. There’d been far too few occasions on Voyager for them to just relax and enjoy each other’s company like this, especially in the last few years. The last time he could remember was when that anomaly had fractured Voyager in different timeframes and he’d burned out the deflector. Was that only a few months ago? It felt so much longer, now that they were back on Earth and trying to establish new routines. He missed her, missed seeing her every day and working together towards a common goal. Once more he almost said yes, that he’d do this with her. Be a father to their child. But once again he swallowed the words before they could roll off his tongue. To keep his hands and mouth occupied, he picked up the brownie Gretchen had left for him and dug in. Kathryn followed his lead and started in on her piece and the moment passed. By the time the sugary treats were gone, Chakotay knew it was time for him to leave as well. So he said goodbye to Kathryn and her mother and walked back to the transport station.

His mind was so occupied that he didn’t notice much of his surroundings on the way back to his temporary quarters where he spent a few more moments in thought, just standing in the middle of his living room. It took him a while to realise he was home and when he did he looked around at the bare room. With the debriefings and his own exoneration still so recent, he hadn’t had time to look for a place of his own or even think about where he wanted that to be. He’d been toying with the idea of going to Dorvan for a few weeks and sorting out his living arrangements when he got back, so, for the moment, he’d accepted the offer of standard Starfleet housing. Looking around now, after spending an hour or two in the Janeway family home, the room felt cold and sterile. Sure, he’d put up his medicine wheel and a few other possessions were scattered around, but the grey was the same exact shade he’d been looking at for seven years. Suddenly, he couldn’t stand the sight of it any longer, so he decided to go looking for a place of his own as soon as possible. Perhaps something big enough for a family…


	2. Thursday 6th April 2378

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chakotay thinks being a father and talks about it with Seven.  
> Warning: mild C7 in this chapter

The next day after a vision quest and some preliminary house hunting, Chakotay felt certain about his earlier instincts. He’d scanned through the consent form Kathryn’s solicitor had sent over and been surprised by the brevity of the document. Other than confirming that he agreed with the decision to have their daughter implanted, it merely stated that parental rights and obligations were at the discretion of the two parties involved and that ‘every option from termination of parental rights to shared custody were at the behest of the biological father’. Though she’d said as much the day before, seeing it officially drawn up that the ultimate decision was his was a gesture of trust he much appreciated. With this in hand, he could sign away every demand she or their child could ever make on him or claim fifty percent of their daughter’s time, without even having to discuss it with Kathryn. Though he had no intention of doing either of those things without her knowledge – and hopefully approval – this proved to him more than anything else could that while on Voyager she’d always had the final say within their partnership, in this she wanted them to be equals. Though he’d had no problems with living in her shadow, the realisation gave him a sense of freedom he hadn’t realised he’d given up. The knowledge that he was under no obligation to anyone helped him to consider what _he_ wanted. The answer to that was simple. Family. Somewhere to belong.

He’d had that on Voyager in a way he’d never had it anywhere else. Not with his birth family on his home world, where he’d always felt like a contrary. Held back by traditionalism he didn’t understand or respect. Perhaps in those early years in Starfleet he’d felt at home, before the Cardassian treaty made him question their ideals and making him feel trapped between two worlds. Certainly not in the Maquis. That hadn’t been a place to build a life, but to court death.

Yet on Voyager he’d found an unexpected home and purpose, not to mention a family of over a hundred. He’d even taken the first steps towards a possible family of his own by starting a relationship with Seven. And now to finally have the birth of his child to look forward to after all these years… It made him feel like the luckiest man in the world.

Speaking of Seven, it wouldn’t do to keep her waiting. Chakotay picked up the bottle of tarkenberry juice he’d acquired at a local farmers market just a few hours earlier – foregoing a bottle of wine in deference to Seven’s alcohol intolerance – and requested a beam out.

Their dinner started out smoothly with Seven gracefully accepting the bottle he brought and stating that it would pair nicely with the vegetarian lasagne she’d prepared. It smelled wonderful and Chakotay was glad she hadn’t given up on cooking after their admittedly disastrous first dinner date. She’d served him rack of lamb, clearly unaware that he was a vegetarian. However, after a few awkward moments, she’d labelled his desire not to consume meat ‘admirable’ and he’d made due with the admittedly delicious first course and sides. Since then she’d been very conscientious of his dietary preferences.

The atmosphere in the living area of her Starfleet housing was textbook romantic, with a precisely decked table, lowered lighting and soft music. After having his offer of help refused, Chakotay poured some juice for both of them into the glasses Seven had already set out and sat down at the dinner table. It wasn’t long before Seven returned with their first course.

Dinner was as delicious as the smells had suggested. During the entrée Seven told him about the scientific facility that she’d visited that day, as a first step towards determining whether she wanted to work there. It had however turned out to be _lacking in sufficiently stimulating research opportunities_ and _ran inefficiently._

After serving the lasagne and accepting Chakotay’s praise on the dish, Seven politely asked about his day. Even though he’d been planning to bring up the subject, Chakotay didn’t quite know how to breach the topic, so he took another bite of pasta to buy himself some time.

‘Actually,’ he said after a moment’s hesitation, ‘I’ve been considering my visit with Kathryn yesterday.’

‘Is the Captain well?’ Seven inquired with polite curiosity.

Chakotay frowned, remembering Kathryn’s haggard appearance the day before. Hopefully with the last family call done she’d find some time to relax. ‘She still seemed tired. I hope now that the debriefings are done she’ll get some rest.’

Seven nodded. ‘As I regenerate less frequently than the average human needs to sleep, I am regularly available during the night when other people are not. However, on Voyager, I have often encountered the Captain during those hours or sought her out for advice when the computer informed me she was awake. I did not consider so at the time, but her late nights could have been an indication of stress. If that is the case, one would suppose being home and on leave would prompt the Captain to adopt a more balanced schedule.’

At the word _adopt_ Chakotay tugged at his ear uncomfortably. He wouldn’t get anywhere by beating around the bush. With Seven, a direct approach was often better. ‘I guess you could say she’s taking on a new project. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but at the beginning of our journey Kathryn accidentally got pregnant due to interference from a former crewmate, Seska.’

‘The Doctor informed me of this when we first started our relationship.’ Chakotay silently frowned at the Doctor for divulging such confidential medical information. ‘You are the biological father and the child is currently in stasis, correct?’

‘Yes. But Kathryn has decided that now that we’re home she’ll have the child implanted and she’s asked me if I want to be involved.’

Seven placed down her utensils and fixed Chakotay with a penetrating stare. Though he was glad to have her full attention, it was also a bit disconcerting. ‘The urge to reproduce is one of the most basic of human desires. I assume you told her you’d be happy if she propagated a child with your genetic material.’

Chakotay sighed. Having his feelings reduced to _basic human urges_ annoyed him. However, there was a hint of insecurity in Seven that stopped him from voicing his irritation. He knew she was just trying to make sense of the situation in the only way she knew how. She was still such a novice in interpersonal relationships that it was unfair of him to take offense at her clumsy phrasing. ‘I would be very happy for our daughter to finally be born, yes,’ he therefore said instead. ‘I also want to play an active role in her upbringing, but I wanted to discuss this with you first.’

This prompted some introspection in Seven and Chakotay patiently waited for her to think it through. ‘My association with the Borg children, though challenging, was also surprisingly… fulfilling,’ she finally said after a few moments of thought. ‘You enjoy the company of Naomi Wildman and wish to be involved in Miral Paris’ childhood as well. It would therefore be only logical to desire involvement with your own child.’

‘So you wouldn’t mind if I split custody of our daughter with Kathryn?’

‘Would it interfere with our weekly dinners?’

‘I don’t see how. I would only have our daughter half of the time and we can always plan our dinners around those days.’

‘Then I see no reason for me to object to this course of action.’

Though Chakotay was glad of her easy acceptance, something about Seven’s response still bothered him. It took him a moment to identify what. ‘Don’t you want to be involved in my daughter’s life?’

Seven frowned in confusion. ‘I have no experience with infants and do not see how I could contribute to its upbringing as it has of yet no capacity for logic. Perhaps if the child is older I could instruct it as I did the Borg children.’

Though her cold rejection bothered Chakotay, he was hard-pressed to argue with such logic and gave up. It would be months before Wóape was born, so there was still plenty of time to explain to Seven why it was important to him that she be involved. And if she didn’t want to… well, they’d cross that bridge if they came to it.

Deciding to let the topic drop for now, he changed the subject back to Seven’s interests and the other job offers she’d received and was still contemplating. They finished their meal in a companionable discussion and after a few goodnight kisses, Chakotay beamed back home.


	3. Monday 10th April 2378

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JC have their first meeting with the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving you with this C7 chapter for so long! I got kind of distracted by this show called Nashville... But I promise this chapter is long and JC-centered!
> 
> Many thanks to the wonderful carter-sg-1 for the beta! All mistakes remain mine.

A few days after her dinner with Chakotay, Kathryn was at Starfleet medical, waiting for the Doctor in front of his new office, fidgeting. With a few months of leave still stretching out ahead of her she had no reports or work to occupy herself with. In spite of that she had donned her uniform for the visit. She was looking around, impatiently tapping her fingers against her thighs, silently wishing she’d taken her mother up on her offer to accompany her when Chakotay’s familiar figure appeared around the corner. He spotted her almost immediately and strode over.

‘Chakotay!’ Kathryn exclaimed, pleasantly surprised by his presence. She’d notified him about the appointment of course, but still… ‘I didn’t expect to see you here!’

He just smiled and offered her a thermos. ‘Coffee?’

Kathryn couldn’t help but laugh at his slightly mischievous look as well as his offer. ‘You know me too well,’ she admitted fondly as she folded her hands around the flask.

His smile got decidedly more mischievous as he responded. ‘Just thought I’d indulge you before you have to give it up for nine months.’

She shot him a mock glare at the quip, but immediately relented when she opened the thermos and took a good whiff of the delicious brew. Chakotay’s amusement grew as she hummed in contentment. She took a sip and all of her earlier nervousness seemed to wash away. After savouring the taste for a few moments, she fixed a knowing look at Chakotay, her smile even wider than before. ‘This is not replicated.’

‘Nope,’ Chakotay agreed with a grin. ‘It’s a fresh blend I found in a little shop in New Mexico. I’ve been indulging myself with all kinds of fresh foodstuffs now that I’ve got the chance.’

Kathryn had to laugh at the conspiring look he shot her. ‘I’ve been doing the same,’ she admitted. ‘Or my mother has; she’s never been a fan of replicators. I didn’t really understand it until Voyager. Now nothing beats a fresh cup of coffee.’ She held up the thermos in a sort of salute before taking another big gulp.

‘I agree. I used to think my people so backwards for growing all their own food, but now I relish it. I haven’t found any tea as good as the blend your mother served, though. Think she’d be willing to give me the address?’

‘I’m sure she’d be delighted!’ Kathryn leaned in closer and lowered her voice, as if imparting a secret. ‘She’s been plying me with homemade dishes almost non-stop. I think she’s trying to fatten me up.’

Chakotay couldn’t help but grin at her antics, but then his gaze swept over her form. ‘You look well, Kathryn.’

Kathryn almost blushed at his warm tone, but was also touched by the concern she saw in his eyes. She really hadn’t been well the last time they’d met, but she’d had plenty of rest and been well-fed since then. She felt a lot better and judging by his appreciative comment it showed.

Kathryn was about to flirt back as they’d done a million times before when the door to the Doctor’s office whooshed open and he appeared in the doorway. ‘Captain, Commander, how lovely to see you!’

Kathryn and Chakotay returned his greeting as they followed him in. Although the Doctor’s new office was quite spacious, without the attached surgical bay and biobeds it almost looked small. ‘So how do you like it here, Doctor?’ Kathryn asked as they all took seats around his desk.

The Doctor hesitated for a moment. ‘Well, I… ah… miss the mobile emitter of course,’ he finally said haltingly and though he was trying to be stoic about it they could see how much that decision hurt him. ‘But,’ he continued, smiling a bit awkwardly and infusing a more upbeat tone in his voice, ‘there are holoprojectors all over this building, so I can go wherever I want and I’ve even got an apartment a few blocks from here.’

Kathryn looked at the Doctor sympathetically. ‘I’m sorry, Doctor, I had no idea they hadn’t returned the mobile emitter yet. Do you know why they’re keeping it? Are they trying to analyse it so they can make more?’

The Doctor shrugged and the pain of not only being denied his mobility but also not even being informed of the reason behind this decision was clear to see in his face. ‘I don’t know, they didn’t say.’

Kathryn felt a flash of anger roll through her. Though she didn’t voice it, she thought this kind of treatment quite discriminatory. A “flesh and blood” citizen would not have been treated this way. She forced herself to stay calm for the Doctor’s sake and adopted a reassuring tone. ‘I’ll contact a few of my sources, Doctor, and see if we can’t have the emitter returned to you immediately.’

‘Thank you, Captain, I would appreciate that very much.’ The gratitude in the Doctor’s eyes was hard to see. It was clear that he’d been desperately longing for the return of his emitter, but unsure how to go about it. It was unlike the proud hologram not to voice his own needs. Clearly being denied authorship of his own holonovel a few months ago had shaken him severely, leaving him unsure of his own rights. Kathryn resolved to do all she could for him. Apparently there was still one member of her crew who needed her to fight for them. ‘But I don’t assume you came here to hear about my problems,’ the Doctor continued, putting on a brave face in an effort to lighten the mood. ‘Please state the nature of the medical emergency.’

Kathryn, however, couldn’t quite let it go without making sure they were quite clear on one thing. ‘Doctor, I hope you know that you can come to me if there’s anything that’s bothering you. I may not be your Captain anymore, but you’ll always be part of my crew.’

Kathryn’s words left the Doctor uncharacteristically tongue-tied. He had to swallow a holographic lump before he could respond. ‘Thank you, Captain. I’ll keep that in mind.’

‘But you’re right,’ Kathryn continued, ’There was another reason for my visit. You see, now that we’re home, I’d like to re-implant our embryo. I haven’t been able to locate her yet, but-‘

‘I believe I can help you with that, Captain,’ the Doctor interrupted, happy to be able to repay his former Captain’s kindness. ‘You see, when my program was transferred to Starfleet Medical I insisted that the embryo be transferred here as I am your attending physician. She is right here, safe in an embryonic stasis unit. To avoid any unwarranted rumours, I had the information restricted so only someone with access to your medical files would know she even existed.’ The room was silent as both Kathryn and Chakotay looked at him in amazement. The Doctor glanced between them, anxious that he had mis-stepped. ‘If you hadn’t brought it up yourselves I would have told you during this meeting.’

Kathryn recovered enough from her surprise to mutter, ‘That’s why Owen couldn’t find anything.’ Then, seeing both Chakotay’s surprised expression and the Doctor’s anxious one, she smiled reassuringly. ‘Thank you, Doctor, that was very thoughtful of you.’ The Doctor visibly relaxed. ‘That simplifies one part of my request. I also wanted to inquire how we would proceed.’

The Doctor happily launched into a medical explanation. ‘First I would stimulate your hormone levels so your body can prepare itself for pregnancy. This would mean a hypospray twice a day. The embryo is about five weeks along, or in your seventh week of pregnancy, so it would take about a week to stimulate your uterus sufficiently. Then I’d do the implantation and monitor you for a few days to make sure everything went well. Of course I’d need your consent to proceed, Commander, but as you’re here I assume that’s taken care of?’

‘Yes, I’m in complete agreement. Kathryn has the paperwork.’ He shot her a quick smile.

‘Excellent! When would you like to start, Captain?’

With both Chakotay and the Doctor on board and looking at her expectantly, Kathryn felt a momentary hesitation. It all seemed a bit… too easy. ‘What about the risks, Doctor? Is it possible my body will reject the re-implantation?’

‘Yes, there’s about a five percent chance that your body will reject the foetus in the first week,’ the Doctor answered with frank honesty. ‘And if that happens, there’s not much I can do to stop it.’

Kathryn frowned. ‘Is there any way to avoid that risk or to minimize it? A younger surrogate perhaps, or longer preparation?’

‘I’m afraid not, Captain. Because you are the foetus’ biological mother, you are actually the ideal host. Your genetic compatibility will insure the lowest risk of rejection. And though your age might have been a risk factor a few hundred years ago, with today’s medical standards it’s not an issue. And even if it were, the fact that the foetus was conceived a few years ago would have countered most of those potential adverse effects. The risk of rejection is inherent to the process. The only way to avoid it is not to implant the foetus at all, but to leave it in stasis indefinitely. As you’re aware, that also carries a small amount of risk.’

‘In other words, Doctor, the only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to never let her be born at all.’ Kathryn summarized.

‘In short, yes.’

Kathryn shared a look with Chakotay to make sure he agreed with the risk assessment. After making certain that they were in agreement, she nodded and made her decision. ‘In that case, let’s proceed now.’

‘Of course, Captain, if you’ll follow me.’ The Doctor got up and led the way to a different door than the one through which they’d entered. As he held the door open for her, Kathryn caught a glimpse of an adjacent medical bay. ‘Commander, won’t you join us?’ The Doctor’s words brought her up short. Turning around, she saw that Chakotay was still at the Doctor’s desk. He’d gotten up, but then had apparently thought better of following them.

‘Why don’t I stay here while you examine the Captain?’ He said with a gentle smile, but Kathryn knew by the way he tugged on his ear that he was embarrassed and unsure of his actions.

The Doctor seemed to have come to the same conclusion. ‘I just have to run a few non-invasive scans and administer a couple of hyposprays. I’m sure the Captain wouldn’t mind having you there. You know how she hates these Doctor’s appointments.’ The last sentence was said with nothing but good humour, even though Kathryn knew her behaviour had frustrated him on more than one occasion. His words had the desired effect as Chakotay smiled, glanced at her a bit bashfully for confirmation she was alright with it and then noticeably relaxed. For a moment she marvelled at the EMH’s growth over the past seven years. He’d always been a brilliant physician – even if they hadn’t always credited him for it in the early years – but his social development was the truly marvellous. He still had some ways to go – his offensive holonovel sprang to mind – but today’s conversation showed the great strides he’d made since the issue of their child had first arisen.

When she was sure Chakotay would follow Kathryn walked into the medical bay and sat down on the biobed the Doctor indicated. He had raised the head of the bed, so she could recline against the back without lying down. Chakotay came to stand at her shoulder. The Doctor collected a few different medical implements before rolling over his tray.

‘I’m just going to run a few different scans to determine your general physical condition, Captain. Just relax.’

Kathryn shot Chakotay a sceptical look, as if to ask how she could relax during a physical, but reclined against the back of the bed and took a deep breath. Chakotay stifled a grin at her antics and the Doctor ignored them both and started his scans. Aside from the occasional ‘hmmm’ by the Doctor and occasional buzz of a scanner, the next few minutes passed mostly in silence. Finally, the Doctor closed the last scanner with a resounding snap and turned back to his patient.

‘Well, Captain, the Alpha Quadrant seems to agree with you! I’m seeing indications of an increase in sleep and nutritious food intake and a decline of cortisol and adrenaline. Aside from a small deterioration in muscle tone-’ Kathryn glared at the Doctor, which he gamely ignored, ‘-you appear to be in better shape than I’ve seen in seven years. Congratulations, if you keep this up you’ll be in perfect physical condition for the procedure next week. Would you like me to start the preparations now?’

‘Yes, Doctor, thank you.’ If there was a hint of sarcasm in Kathryn’s tone, the Doctor chose to ignore it. Instead he packed up the different scanning devices and started bustling again about the medical bay preparing the necessary hyposprays. By the time he got to the replicator, multiple vials were already waiting for him, along with a carrier case. Kathryn shot Chakotay a curious look at this, but he just shrugged. ‘Doctor, did you just control the replicator without voice commands?’

‘Why yes, Captain!’ The Doctor said, positively beaming at her question. ‘Seven suggested it when she helped me move into my new office and she helped plug me into the computer so to speak. I can interlink directly with every piece of equipment here. Though for the sake of privacy, only that within this medical bay, my office and my lab. Isn’t it wonderful!’

Kathryn was touched by the Doctor’s childlike glee. ‘Indeed, Doctor, what a wonderful idea. We should have thought of that sooner.’

Chakotay was frowning. He remembered Seven mentioning that she’d gone to visit the Doctor in his new office, to see if he was settling in, but she hadn’t mentioned anything like this.

‘Of course, being a hologram has its advantages,’ the Doctor preened, clearly very pleased with the situation. But he composed himself quickly and filled the hypospray with the first vial. ‘Now, first I’m going to counteract your booster, Captain.’ Kathryn obediently bared her neck and felt the soft hiss of the hypospray. The Doctor picked up the next vial and refilled the hypospray. ‘I will give you the first of the hormone injections now. You need to take these twice a day for the next week.’ Again a hiss. Having done that, the Doctor stepped away, apparently done, and turned to the case he’d replicated, sliding the hypospray into the top. ‘All the vials are in here. Would you like me to send it to your home?’

Kathryn got back up from her reclining position, unconsciously rubbing her neck where the two injections had been administered. ‘Yes, Doctor, but allow me. Computer, transport the case half a meter in front of me to the Janeway residence, Bloomington, Indiana. Authorization code Janeway pi 24 7.’ The case with the hypospray dematerialized. Chakotay grinned at this further evidence of the Janeway’s defence system, as well as Kathryn’s authorization code. ‘I’ll make sure you’re approved for personal and material transport when I get home, Doctor.’ The Doctor just nodded as he put away the last of his instruments.

‘Why don’t we go back to my office,’ he suggested as he finished. Kathryn and Chakotay followed him next door where they reclaimed their seats at his desk. ‘Now, Captain, because of the hormone therapy, your body will be working overtime the next week to get ready for pregnancy. You will most likely feel tired and you might also experience other pregnancy symptoms, like nausea and tenderness in your abdomen and chest. However, do contact me if you experience anything abnormal or if you have any questions. Otherwise I’ll see you next week for the implantation.’

Both Kathryn and Chakotay thanked him and got up. Chakotay grabbed both of their now empty thermoses. Just as they were about to leave, the Doctor called after them. ‘And Captain, please refrain from drinking caffeine 24 hours before our next appointment.’

Chakotay had to stifle a laugh at the rebellious expression that came over his former Captain’s face, but she gritted her teeth and said, in a voice that almost disguised her annoyance, ‘Yes, Doctor.’ Chakotay was pretty sure she increased her pace to avoid any more last minute suggestions.

He waited until they had left the Doctor’s office well behind them and were almost at the end of the hall before asking Kathryn if she’d like to have lunch with him. She readily agreed and by unspoken agreement they made their way to the mess hall.

Like most Starfleet facilities, the mess was a large space dotted with tables and chairs, with a couple of replicators at the entrance. After seven years aboard Voyager, Chakotay missed Neelix’ welcoming presence. The food might be better, but the absence of his unfailing good cheer as he suggested the day’s specialty made the room seem uninviting. He’d been feeling a lot of that lately. Even though the interior design at Headquarters or in his temporary quarters was mostly the same as it had been on Voyager, without his familiar Voyager family the décor seemed austere, barren. As he looked at Kathryn and they exchanged an understanding glance he knew she shared his sentiment.

They were silent as they joined the short line before the replicators. When Kathryn’s turn came, neither of them commented on the large mug of coffee she ordered, but Chakotay couldn’t resist a quip, ‘Are you sure you don’t want some pie with that?’

Kathryn shot him a mock glare. Tray in hand, she waited for Chakotay to dispose of the thermoses and to finish ordering. Then, as they made themselves comfortable at one of the tables, she responded to his comment. ‘My sister came up with that code when I first moved out to go to the Academy. She was barely seventeen at the time.’ She acted as if she was imparting a great secret and Chakotay couldn’t help but chuckle.

‘I didn’t see your sister last week. Do you see her often now that we’re back?’ He asked, genuinely interested.

‘No, she’s living on a planet near Betazed, so I haven’t seen her in person yet, but we’ve talked over the comm a few times. Phoebe and I were never very close as children; I think we’re too different. But it’s been nice to hear from her and catch up on the last few years. How about you? How’s Sekaya?’

‘She’s well,’ Chakotay confirmed, pleased by her question. ‘I haven’t seen her either, but yes, it’s been good to catch up over the comm. I’d been thinking of going to Dorvan to visit her, but now I think I want to stay close. Perhaps she can come visit when the children’s summer holiday begins in a few months.’

Kathryn looked away, focussing on her sandwich for a few moments as she gathered her thoughts. When she looked up, Chakotay recognized the look in her eyes. She was about to cut to the chase. ‘By _now_ , do you mean with the baby on the way?’

‘Yes,’ Chakotay responded simply.

As much as it gratified her to see Chakotay take such an active interest, Kathryn felt compelled to point out that his sacrifice wasn’t necessary. ‘You know that it’ll be quite a few months before she’s born, don’t you? If you want to go to Dorvan to spend some time with your family, that’s perfectly alright.’

In response, Chakotay fixed her with one of those sincere, intense looks that Kathryn found almost impossible to look away from. ‘Kathryn, if you want me to take a step back, all you have to do is say so. But if you don’t mind, I’d love to be there for you and Wóape. She’s my family too, and so are you. In fact, would you mind if I was there for next week’s appointment?’

Kathryn had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could answer. Though she thought she’d be okay with whatever decision he made concerning his involvement in their daughter’s life, hearing him claim her as part of his family touched her more than she’d expected. ‘Of course not! You’re more than welcome,’ she responded firmly. Her smile told Chakotay that she was being genuine, not giving him the response she thought was appropriate. After all those years of their friendship being warm, but always restrained by the standards she held herself to for duty’s sake, knowing that she was completely sincere was a delightful feeling. ‘I meant what I said before, Chakotay, I think you will be a wonderful father. I’m glad you want to be a part of this.’ On impulse, she grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He turned his hand around so he could squeeze back.

They sat like that for a moment, smiling at each other, enjoying their simple camaraderie. Then, by apparent silent agreement they let go of each other and returned to their food. The rest of the meal passed in easy, amiable conversation, which reminded them both of the genuine affection their friendship was based on.


	4. Sunday 16th April 2378

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before the implantation, Kathryn discusses her situation with her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait everyone! I wish I could say it was the last time...
> 
> Thanks to carter-sg-1 for the fabulous beta!

**Chapter 4 – Sunday 16 th April 2378**

The grass in back of the Janeway homestead was perfectly green, lush and freshly mowed, but Kathryn saw none of it. As she stared out over the familiar and often missed landscape, her thoughts were lightyears away. Even when the back door opened and her mother got out onto the porch, she didn’t look up. Gretchen set down the two mugs she’d been carrying on the small table beside Kathryn’s comfortable chair and closed the door. Then she made herself comfortable in the other chair and waited for her daughter to take notice of her. With a mother’s patience, she said nothing, merely picked up her own mug and blew on it gently.

After a few minutes, Kathryn absentmindedly picked up her mug, brought it to her face and breathed in the aroma. That seemed to wake her as she hastily set the mug back down. ‘Thanks, mom, but I can’t-‘

Her mother quickly silenced her protest. ‘It’s decaf, dear.’

Kathryn gave her mother a grateful look before picking the mug back up and taking a large sip. She grimaced slightly at the difference in taste but took another gulp none the less. Gretchen suppressed a smile, knowing full well what her daughter was thinking but refraining from commenting on it. ‘You looked deep in thought, Katie, thinking about tomorrow?’ she asked instead.

Kathryn took a moment to put her thoughts in order before responding. ‘Partly, I guess. It’s strange to think that by this time tomorrow, I’ll be pregnant.’

Gretchen nodded pensively. ‘How do you feel about that?’ She asked in a carefully neutral tone.

‘I’m not quite sure,’ Kathryn replied thoughtfully, ‘I guess I should be excited, because I’ve been hoping for this for so long, but it just doesn’t feel real yet. Perhaps tomorrow when it’s done I’ll believe it, or next week if nothing goes wrong.’

Gretchen smiled. ‘Honey, I had the same feeling when I was pregnant with you. Even with the morning sickness and my expanding waist line, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.’

‘Were you very nauseated?’ Kathryn asked.

‘No, it was fairly light. But I remember your grandmother telling me she _walked rings around the table_ as she put it.’ Kathryn smiled at this reminder of some of the quaint phrases her late grandmother used to employ. ‘It’s different for everyone.’

Kathryn contemplated her mother’s words as they both sipped their beverage. ‘What was it like for you, when you were pregnant? I don’t think I’ve ever asked.’

Gretchen smirked in remembrance. ‘For one thing your father was away on an important mission, so I had to tell him I was pregnant over the comms. He fainted when he heard the news and I had to contact his Captain to call the doctor in.’ Both Janeways chuckled at the ridiculousness of that story. ‘Luckily he was able to get back before you were born, because I was not going to do that alone! But for most of my pregnancy he was in space.’

Kathryn contemplated the loneliness of that situation, which could have been close to hers if Chakotay had not decided to take an active interest. Of course she had her mother here and others from Voyager like Tom and B’Elanna who would probably be around, but she didn’t think it was the same as sharing the experience with the child’s other parent.

Gretchen seemed to know exactly where her thoughts were going because she asked, ‘What about you, Katie? I know you said you’re glad Chakotay wants to be a part of the experience, but it’s still not the same as him being _here_ , with you.’

Kathryn shrugged. ‘If you’re asking whether I thought about raising our daughter together, not just as co-parents but as partners, yes I did. Chakotay is a wonderful man and we make a good team. So I guess deep down I always had this picture of us as an instant family.’ Kathryn tried to ignore her mother’s gaze, looking out over the darkening fields instead. ‘But it’s a moot point. He’s with Seven and I’m not going to stand in the way of their happiness.’

‘But the way you act with each other, Katie,’ her mother protested, ‘it’s clear there’s potential there. You flirt like it’s no one’s business!’

Kathryn demurred. ‘Yes, we care for each other and we’ve always had an easy rapport, but I’m not sure if it’s really him I want or just the idea of a family.’ Gretchen looked rather unconvinced, but refrained from making a further comment. Kathryn still wouldn’t look at her. ‘You’re right in saying that we flirt a lot, and there’s certainly been a spark between us from the very beginning, but it was never serious. For one thing I was still with Mark when we started our journey and for another he was always my subordinate. Even assuming that we had both wanted to, nothing could ever happen as long as we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. And now that we’re home…’ Kathryn sighed, not sure how to finish that sentence, how to put all of it into words. ‘Right now I’m just happy he’s part of this,’ She finally concluded. ‘Daughters need their fathers and I know he’ll make a wonderful dad.’

Clearly done with the conversation, Kathryn picked up her now-empty coffee mug and got up. ‘It’s getting a bit cold here, I think I’ll turn in.’

Gretchen didn’t point out that it was barely half past nine, merely wished her daughter goodnight. She stayed outside a lot longer, sipping her tea and thinking about this new adventure her daughter was about to embark on, staring out over the ever darkening Indiana landscape in much the same way Kathryn had.


	5. Monday 17th April 2378

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The implantation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again a great thank you to carter-sg-1 for beta'ing this!

**Chapter 5 – Monday 17 th April 2378**

Kathryn woke up early the following morning. She stayed in bed for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about the day ahead. In a few hours, she would be pregnant. The thought was still surreal. Did she really want this? Was she ready for this? But what she’d told Chakotay almost two weeks ago was true. She had to do this. Not just for Wóape, but for herself.

Ever since she’d received Mark’s Dear John letter in the fourth year of their voyage and had known unequivocally that a future with him was out of the question, almost every dream she’d had about reaching Earth had featured Wóape. And her father. Not that she had indulged in those dreams often, aside from when they’d been stuck in the Void. Even so, those thoughts had left an indelible impression on her.

Before the Delta Quadrant her goals had been mostly career-oriented. She’d strived to become a Captain and then an Admiral, like her father. Having a family along the way was something she’d taken for granted. At some point she would have married Mark and they’d would have had one or two kids, but not just then. She had wanted to focus on her career first.

Voyager had turned all of that upside down. After being the ultimate authority for seven years, the stress that came with it and then the rude awakening of returning and having to take orders once again, had made her far less eager to devote herself to Starfleet. She’d experienced enough of the loneliness of command and long separation from her family to last her a lifetime. What she yearned for now was an emotional connection and belonging. She hadn’t appreciated it when she had had it before, but seven years keeping her command distance had taught her to appreciate it. Not that she hadn’t had that connection on Voyager. The crew, especially the senior staff, had felt like a family those last few years. But there was always a distance. And now that they were home, many of them would scatter to their new lives.

She didn’t think she was ready for a relationship yet. She was well aware of the wounds the constant command had left. She needed some time to find Kathryn again, before she was ready to share herself with anyone. If she started dating anyone seriously now, she’d become their version of Kathryn. Perhaps with Chakotay she could have explored both at the same time, as he already knew her so well, but as that wasn’t on the table…

Her child on the other hand, that was something she was more than ready for.

Having reached this conclusion, Kathryn resolutely swept aside her blankets. It was time to start the day.

* * *

By the time Kathryn arrived at Starfleet Medical, she was in a wonderful mood. She felt that with the implantation, she was embarking on a new adventure. Starting the next phase of her life.

This time Chakotay was already waiting in front of the Doctor’s office and Kathryn grinned at the role reversal as she handed him one of the thermoses she was carrying. ‘My mother wouldn’t let me share her tea merchant’s address, but if you come to Indiana, she’ll take you there herself,’ she told him.

Chakotay, infected by her good mood, gave her one of his dimpled smiles in return as he accepted the thermos. ‘I would love to.’

They didn’t have time for more banter as the office door opened at that moment, revealing an equally beaming Doctor. ‘Captain, Commander, please come in.’

Before they stepped into his office, Chakotay asked her ‘lunch later?’ and Kathryn gladly agreed.

As they had the week before, Kathryn and Chakotay took the two seats in front of the Doctor’s desk. The Doctor, however, seemed too excited to sit down. ‘Captain, thank you for getting Starfleet to return my mobile emitter,’ he blurted out when they were barely seated, beaming with gratitude and almost bouncing on his heels with glee.

Kathryn waved his praise away. ‘It was nothing, Doctor, they shouldn’t have confiscated it in the first place. Have you had a chance to use it?’

Having expressed his delight, the Doctor seemed to regain some of his composure and he sat down. ‘To be honest, as much as I want to explore Earth, now that I can go anywhere I don’t quite know where to start,’ he confided. ‘Though Seven and I did go to Italy yesterday. We explored beautiful Renaissance and Baroque art, like the Sistine chapel and the great works of Bernini. I didn’t care for the gladiator re-enactments in the Colosseum, too bloody. Even if they are holograms, that’s no reason to abuse them!’ Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged a glance, feeling a lecture on holographic rights approaching. However, before they could interject the Doctor’s expression turned positively radiant as he gushed about the last part of their trip. ‘We ended the night with Puccini’s La Bohème in the Teatro Regio di Torino. I’ve seen it on the holodeck of course and the current Teatro Regio isn’t the original, but still it was simply wonderful to see it at the location of the 1896 premiere.’

Kathryn smiled at his rapture. ‘I’m glad you’re putting your restored mobility to good use, Doctor.’

‘Well thank you again, Captain. But you didn’t come here to talk about my weekend. How have you been Captain? Any pregnancy symptoms?’

Kathryn shook her head. ‘No, nothing much.’

‘Good,’ the Doctor responded. ‘Why don’t you go on to the surgical bay, Captain, and put on a medical gown. The Commander and I will be right there.’

‘Sure Doctor.’

When Kathryn stepped into the medical bay, she found that the Doctor had already prepared for their arrival. There was a tray with different medical instruments sitting next to the biobed and a large dome-shaped apparatus had been added to the room. Kathryn wondered if that was the embryonic stasis unit the Doctor had mentioned the week before. Was their daughter in there? It certainly looked sturdier than the one they’d jury-rigged on Voyager.

Reminding herself that the Doctor and Chakotay were waiting for her, Kathryn pried her attention away from the unit, picked up the medical gown from the biobed and began to change.

The medical gown felt uncomfortable. Simply being out of uniform made her feel uncomfortable, though for her mother’s sake she’d mostly worn civilian clothes in Indiana. But that had been pants and sweaters or blouses. Even though the material was different, it had still been somewhat similar to the uniform she’d worn almost every day of the last seven years. This gown… It was different. When was the last time she’d worn a dress? And then definitely none as short as this. This gown reminded her of other trips to the medical bay. Of accidents and times she’d pushed herself past her limits. Of being assimilated. She shivered just to think of it. This gown reminded her of being vulnerable and it had been a long time since she’d allowed herself to feel that way. But that’s what being back home, finding herself again, meant. It meant not being larger than life, projecting an aura of calm, opening herself up and feeling all the emotions she’d shoved away. If wearing a short dress already made her feel so strange, perhaps she had to do it more often, until she was comfortable in her own skin again.

When the door from the Doctor’s office opened, Kathryn put those thoughts aside and braced her spine without even thinking about it. Then she silently cursed herself for it and consciously worked to relax again. Glad that her back was to the door, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before turning around and climbing on the biobed. The bed was tilted down this time, so she just sat on the edge. The Doctor seemed unaware of her brief internal struggle. Chakotay did give her a questioning glance, but she subtly waved him off.

‘Well Captain,’ the Doctor began, ‘I’m going to scan you, just like last week, to see if the hormone injections worked as they were supposed to. If everything is in order, we can proceed to the implantation.’ Kathryn nodded to show she understood and he picked up the first of his instruments.

Like the week before, Kathryn waited patiently while the Doctor ran several different scanners over her with Chakotay just beside her. Finally the Doctor snapped shut the last of the devices and turned to address them. ‘Well, Captain, everything looks just fine. We can proceed to the implantation, if you’re both sure.’

Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged a look before Kathryn spoke for both of them. ‘We’re sure, Doctor. Please proceed.’

The Doctor nodded. ‘If you’d lie down please.’ Kathryn obliged, making herself comfortable on the biobed and fighting the urge to tug the medical gown down further. When she was situated, the Doctor put the medical dome on above her abdomen. ‘This won’t hurt, you will probably feel a light tickling sensation, but I do need you to stay perfectly still, Captain. Would you like me to sedate you?’

‘No,’ Kathryn was quick to decide. Now that the moment was upon her, she was feeling a bit nervous and her voice was slightly huskier as a result. Chakotay clearly noticed, because he took her hand in both of his and gave her a reassuring smile. She smiled back gratefully.

‘I’m just going to run one last scan on the foetus and then we can proceed,’ the Doctor informed them and he turned to the apparatus Kathryn had noticed earlier.

As she watched the Doctor fiddle with the controls, Kathryn felt her anxiety soar, but a gentle squeeze of her hand brought her attention back to the man beside her. ‘You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Kathryn,’ Chakotay told her, silently enough not to disturb the Doctor. His eyes held such warmth and sincerity that Kathryn couldn’t help but believe him. Some of her tension slipped away as she remembered her thoughts from that morning. She could do this. This was just their next adventure.

‘Alright, Captain, I need you to remain perfectly still now,’ the Doctor reminded as he turned back to them. Kathryn took a deep breath, closing her eyes and focussing only on remaining immobile. She could feel Chakotay next to her, also waiting with baited breath. A few seconds passed and Kathryn felt the butterflies in her stomach increase again, but then the Doctor said, ‘There, all done,’ and she opened her eyes, her breath whooshing out of her.

She stared at the Doctor in something close to disbelief. ‘That’s it?’ She wondered aloud. The procedure couldn’t have been more than half a minute.

The Doctor tapped a few controls on the dome and then released it before turning his attention to her. ‘Yes, Captain. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!’ For once, Kathryn was speechless. She allowed Chakotay to help her sit back up. ‘Now, why don’t the Commander and I go back into my office and you can join us when you’re dressed, Captain?’ All Kathryn could do was nod mutely and the men left.

Unlike earlier, Kathryn didn’t linger over her clothing or the now-empty stasis unit. But, before she pulled down her shirt, she rested both of her hands on her stomach. Nothing discernible had changed. As far as she could see it looked just like it had that morning. Yet Wóape was in there. It was mindboggling. ‘Hello baby, this is your momma,’ Kathryn whispered to it, feeling slightly silly. Then, remembering that the Doctor was wired into the lab and possibly knew what she was doing, she quickly drew down her shirt and went to join them in his office.

Chakotay and the Doctor appeared to be in the middle of a conversation about Earth’s top sightseeing attractions, but they stopped when she entered the office. ‘Ah Captain,’ the Doctor said when she’d retaken her seat, ‘as I mentioned before I’d like to see you again next week to make sure everything went well and the foetus has successfully nestled into the womb. If you experience any cramping or bleeding before then, I want to know immediately.’

‘Yes Doctor.’

‘I have entered your new status into the computer, so every Starfleet replicator will automatically adjust your order to eliminate any substance that might harm the foetus. Therefore, substances like coffee might taste slightly different. For any commercial or private replicator, just enter the code Theta Two before ordering and it will do the same. If you consume non replicated fresh produce please avoid cheese made from raw milk, as well as raw meats and certain fish. It’s all on this padd. It’s safe to say that you won’t be having any authentic Klingon cuisine in the next few months,’ the Doctor joked as he handed Kathryn a padd of recommendations. ‘Make sure you get plenty of rest. You might experience exhaustion or sudden waves of tiredness. This is nothing to be concerned about, but make sure you don’t overdo it. If you experience morning sickness, just contact me and I’ll send you something to counteract the effect.’ The Doctor looked at them expectantly. ‘Do you have any questions?’

Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged a look. ‘No, Doctor, thank you.’

‘Then I’ll see you next week. And don’t forget to call if you have any further questions. You know me, I’m always up!’ The Doctor chuckled at his own joke.

Like last week Chakotay carried their thermoses, though instead of recycling them Kathryn send them back to Indiana along with the padd the Doctor had given her. They went to the same mess hall as before and both ordered lunch before making it to an empty table. One sip of her coffee told Kathryn the Doctor was right and the replicator had automatically given her decaf. She grimaced at the taste, but drank it anyway, stubbornly ignoring Chakotay’s amusement.

‘So,’ she asked Chakotay after the first few bites, ‘what have you been up to this week?’

Chakotay looked for a moment as if he wanted to comment on the coffee, but decided to let it go. ‘Not much, actually. I’m still enjoying being back in the Alpha Quadrant and not having to report to duty every day. It’s refreshing not to have your whole day, week or month planned in advance.’

‘Oh I know!’ Kathryn agreed wholeheartedly.

‘So I’ve been taking full advantage of that. I’ve also been looking at houses as I’d like to get out of Starfleet housing. Between you and me,’ he leaned in closer, ‘the colour palette is getting a bit old.’

Kathryn laughed. ‘So what are you looking for? A desert abode or a traditional townhouse?’

‘I’m not sure yet. I’ve been looking at a few different options, trying to decide what would suit me. I’ve never felt truly at home in either a state of the art environment, nor a very traditional one, so I’m trying to find the right blend of the two.’

Kathryn smiled, remembering his quarters on Voyager, their shelter on New Earth and everything in between. ‘You’ve always struck me as the type of person who will bloom wherever you’re planted.’

Chakotay’s dimples made an appearance as he returned her smile warmly, remembering the same occasions, before agreeing with her assessment, ‘I guess you could say that. But this time I feel a real desire to settle down, to plant my roots in a place I could live out the rest of my years.’ Kathryn was about to agree, admit she felt the same way, when his next words stunned her into silence. ‘So far all I know is that I want a place large enough for a family. I want Wóape to have a home with me too. Of course I don’t want to take her away from you, but…’ Chakotay looked down, unsure how to continue and worried that he might have offended Kathryn. Kathryn’s touch on his hand made him look up.

‘Chakotay,’ she whispered, her eyes filled with compassion.

‘I don’t want to be a visitor in her life, Kathryn. I want to be her father.’

Kathryn’s eyes were bright with tears and it took her a few moments to get her emotions under control. She knew what kind of man he was, his great capacity for loyalty and how ardent his desire for community, family was. Yet lately every time he expressed it, it touched her deeply. Perhaps because now it wasn’t about their crew, their Voyager family. As much as she loved them all, this went deeper. This was about her child and it thrilled her every time she was reminded of what a wonderful father their daughter would have. Though she knew the woman would probably roll over in her grave if she knew, and the circumstances she’d forced upon them had been far from ideal, in a strange way Kathryn realised she would always be grateful to Seska for making Chakotay the father of her child. She could not have wished for anyone better.

‘I’d like that too, Chakotay.’ She reassured him once she was sure her voice wouldn’t crack. After that, Kathryn quickly moved the conversation to safer topics and like the week before they spent the rest of the meal deep in conversation.


	6. Thursday 20st April 2378

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven and Chakotay share another dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait y'all. I needed a small break from fanfic writing. The next chapter probably won't be out next week either, as I haven't got a word written down so far. I hope you continue to enjoy this story even with the delays.

On Thursday, like every week, Chakotay beamed over to Seven’s quarters. This time he’d brought a bottle of sparkling peach cider. He hoped Seven would like it. He knew she usually preferred juices that were fresh or tart, but his sweet tooth hadn’t been able to resist. Upon seeing it, Seven merely raised an inquisitive eyebrow before directing him to the table. As always it was immaculately set. Chakotay opened the bottle and poured them both a glass. Seven rejected his offer of any further assistance so he sat down at the table. A minute or two later Seven came in with the appetizers.

The food was as delicious as always and they spend the first course talking about Seven’s further steps into determining the next step in her career. Chakotay experienced a strange sense of timelessness as he listened to her, occasionally offering a question or advice. This could have been any of their dinners in the past few months. Every week Seven prepared three new dishes and he brought a different bottle, but otherwise nothing ever changed. They always talked about their careers, only rarely discussing other aspects of their daily lives. Come to think of it, Seven had yet to even mention the outing to Italy last Sunday, of which the Doctor had been so effusive. The table was beautifully laid, but the only thing that changed from week to week was the cutlery. Was this how he would spend his Thursdays every week? Chakotay felt tired just thinking about it. Eating a delicious dinner with a smart, beautiful woman sounded great, but he wanted more. He wanted a partner, someone to share his life with, to build a life with. Not to see once a week and talk about work.

As Seven got up to fetch their main course – a delicious smelling curry – Chakotay rubbed his chin and wondered how to proceed. He wanted their relationship to grow beyond this weekly dinner, but how best to go about it?

As Chakotay waited for Seven to return with the curry, he refilled his glass and noticed Seven had barely touched hers. She obviously didn’t care for the drink, though she hadn’t said as much as a word about it. Chakotay sighed, but just then Seven returned with their plates so he schooled his expression into a pleasant smile, moving a bit to his left so Seven could set his plate down in front of him. There was a perfect half-sphere of rice on his plate, topped by a bit of green. It almost reminded him of half a Borg cube. Next to it, almost but not quite touching, was a yellow mound of vegetables and sauce, nuts mixed in in what he was sure were perfect proportions. Seven’s plate looked identical, though her portions were slightly smaller in deference to her lower caloric intake. The mere sight robbed him of his appetite and when Seven indicated that it was time to resume their meal, he merely poked at the curry listlessly before setting down his utensil.

If he didn’t want to eat, Chakotay decided, he might as well talk. So he began to tell Seven about the most promising of the houses he’d toured lately, hoping to draw her out and get her opinion. Though she responded at the appropriate intervals, Chakotay couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t very interested and it wasn’t long before he fell silent. More as a diversion than anything else, he picked up his fork and took a few bites, making sure to smash the perfect sphere of rice. As he did he looked around the apartment, searching for something that was similar to the dwellings he was describing and that he might be able to use to draw parallels.

The dim lighting for their dinner hid it nicely, but now that he looked around Chakotay was struck by the bare practicality of the place. He couldn’t make it out at the moment, but he knew the walls were Starfleet grey and the sleek lines and minimalistic design fit well with their owner. There wasn’t a single superfluous item in sight. The only splash of colour and disorder was the plant he knew Kathryn had given her.

Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t picture Seven in any of the homes he’d seen so far. Perhaps as an occasional visitor, but not as a resident. Her imaginary presence struck a false note in the homey atmosphere he hoped to create. The thought made him loose what little shred of appetite the wonderful dish had created. Once again he put down his fork and gently wiped his mouth with his napkin. Seven looked at him quizzically at this gesture that he was finished, clearly nonplussed by his barely touched plate. Before she could ask him if the food wasn’t to his taste, he dove in and asked her to come with him to his next real estate appointment.

Seven looked even more confused than before. She too laid down her cutlery as she formulated a proper response. Chakotay waited less than patiently.

‘I do not see why my opinion on your housing situation is relevant.’ She said after a few moments of thought, still seemingly mystified at his suggestion. ‘As neither of us has selected our next assignment, it is impossible to select a proper location for such a home. Most likely we will return to space and occupy quarters on a Starfleet vessel, in which case taking such care to select a dwelling now seems… superfluous.’

Chakotay was fairly sure the word Seven had wanted to use was ‘wasteful’ and only her newly acquired tact had made her choose a different adjective. This combined with her easy dismissal made him angry, but he struggled to keep his voice even. ‘I’ve told you Seven, I wish to settle on Earth to be close to my daughter. I don’t plan on returning to space – at least not for long stretches of time – in the near future.’

Though still confused, Seven remained unperturbed. She didn’t seem to realise his agitation. ‘Then I fail to see the relevance of my opinion. If the dwelling is designed for you and your child, should you not select it on the basis of her criteria? Or, until she is old enough to vocalize them, Captain Janeway’s?’

Chakotay looked at Seven in appalled disbelief. ‘Seven, with me living on Earth and you in space, how do you see our relationship progress?’

‘I assume we would communicate regularly and whenever we are in close enough proximity, we could share dinners like this one. Weekly, or more regularly if you prefer.’

‘I thought we agreed to stay within transporter range?’

‘And we have. It has been a great comfort to me to know you were close by while I familiarized myself with the Alpha Quadrant. However, you have stated that you wish to remain on Earth, whereas I am not comfortable limiting my possibilities to a single planet. There is much to be seen in the Alpha Quadrant, I do not wish to remain stationary. And my research indicated that many couples in Starfleet experience separation from their partners during missions, but reconnect when their paths intersect. Captain Janeway mentioned a similar experience when discussing her former fiancé. I expected we would do the same.’

Chakotay ran his hand over his face as he struggled to stay calm, noticing with a touch of horror that his hand was shaking. ‘Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Seven, but I must go. You’ve given me a lot to think about.’

Seven frowned, clearly realising that something was amiss. ‘Do you not wish to stay for dessert?’

‘No, not this time.’ Chakotay quickly got up. Now that he’d made the decision to leave, he was anxious to get going. In a few quick strides, he was at the door. As he looked back at Seven, he felt a pang of guilt at her puzzled expression. She clearly didn’t understand his sudden need to be alone and seemed taken aback by his abruptness. He tried to sooth her by saying goodnight in a more gentle tone, but this only seemed to confuse her more. Unable to stay any longer, he left, deeply unsettled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the reason that this chapter is so late is that I'm trying not to bash Seven, but still show why she and Chakotay don't work. It's a fine line and I hope I managed it.


End file.
